It’s a Shame about North Carolina

I don’t often write about politics, and this blog isn’t really going to be political, but I have to say something about this mess in North Carolina.

It’s a ridiculous conversation, any way you look at it. The biggest problem here is not the horrible legislation that just sailed through with a 61% approval; it is the fact that so many people are wasting their time judging what others do, how they live and whom they love.

That’s what this comes down to – because who really cares – who SHOULD care – how someone else chooses to live? Does it affect you? Really?

I don’t care how religious a person is, but in my book, religion is not about legislating other people’s lives. Religion is a personal, private matter between a person and his/her Creator. Period.

Even if you believe same-sex marriage is wrong, ok, so you don’t do it yourself. Fine. End of story. You don’t need to burrow your nose in someone else’s choices.

And that’s what this comes down to: choice.

We make choices every minute of every day – and they are ours to make. The same goes for relationships. What goes on in so many homes around us is, well, unspoken. We don’t step in when a friend marries a jerk, do we? Too many people don’t speak up when someone’s partner is abusing her.

We don’t poke our noses into other people’s homes and say, the food you’re eating will kill you. Or, you need to exercise more. Or, your husband is butt-ugly.

Because it is none of our business. Or we don’t really care. Or it doesn’t touch our own experiences.

So why the obsession with same-sex marriage? If two women commit to spending their lives together, if they are raising a child with love and compassion and focus, are you really that intent on muddying it up? 

If you nod your head yes, then you have to tell me with a straight face and no blinking that you also will tell others which position to have sex in and what foods to eat and where to vacation in the summer. Because it’s all incredibly personal and none of your frickin’ business.

And if you’re going to go that far and tell that lovely couple that they cannot legally be together, despite their love for one another, despite their clarity on who they are and what they believe, then you’ll have to go ahead and comment on every relationship around you because apparently you are the expert.

Let’s not forget, people, that marriage is a construction of community, an institution we now assert is THE only acceptable way to live – but centuries ago, polygamy was the name of the game, even in our diehard Christian and Jewish traditions. That’s not ok anymore.

More recently, Americans of different skin colors were forbidden from falling in love and marrying.

In some countries today, men have multiple wives. 

The concepts and constructs that we assume to be sacrosanct today are constructions of our imaginations to give clear boundaries and rules so that we can control the world around us.

There is nothing sacred about the institution of marriage unless we give it meaning. Unless we give rewards (a.k.a. tax credits) to married people.

No law of the universe says a child is better off with a male and female parent compared with two parents of the same gender or just one great parent. There are too many distinguishing characteristics to make such a general statement. And really, the research is all relative.

So let’s shut up about North Carolina and busy ourselves with more important matters. Shame on you, N.C. legislators, for wasting taxpayer dollars on something that has nothing to do with law or the foundation of this country. And shame on you right-wing religious leaders for thinking that everybody’s business is your business. You’re supposed to be examples of God on this Earth – not pocketbook preachers looking down your nose at everyone else.

  6 comments for “It’s a Shame about North Carolina

  1. Sarah Price
    May 10, 2012 at 11:40 am

    I am, of course, against the legislation based on my own inclusive values. But I’m surprised at how upset I am with the process. I agree with your point regarding the time, money and political energy that went into legislation that was in no way meant to positively impact the lives of any NC residents.

    You don’t think my husband is butt ugly do you?

    • Lynne Meredith Golodner (formerly Schreiber)
      May 10, 2012 at 11:45 am

      Agree, Sarah. And your husband is adorable!!

  2. May 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Another wonderful post, Lynne!

  3. Michelle Blake
    May 10, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    Lynne! LOVE IT! Awesome blog!

  4. Laurie
    May 10, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    Amen. I am amazed at how this stopped being a human rights issue and suddenly became sold as religious, which should never have been put forth as governmental… Amazing at how all these far right wingers forgot that they hate governmental intrusion into our homes suddenly… This was never intended to do anything but divide North Carolinans and make all of our other than married populations feel unwelcome. I’m usually a Republican, but at the moment- I wouldn’t claim it in public.

  5. Chaya Gourarie
    May 11, 2012 at 4:58 am

    Great post! Ignorance is part of the problem. Some of it is malice but most people support this legislation because of their ignorance. In most religions, same-sex marriage is considered a sin, an abomination. As such, the discussion has to start there – at the root cause. People have to be told that their religion might be wrong on this. But as you know, people of faith hate being told that their religion is wrong. So the debate (that’s not really a debate) continues.

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