The secret, she said, is about working less and not decreasing your income.
Not filling the schedule.
Not every single minute taken.
And it’s not about making people happy.
There is something in it for you, she said, some benefit of having every minute planned, of being too busy, of being crazy busy, of being so busy you just can’t get anything done.
What do you think it is?
And then she leveled the blow, gave the advice, her universal truth which I know is what I need to shift my gaze toward.
Serving according to my highest and best divine right order and serving myself first. That’s the goal, she said.
There’s an air of detachment, you’re not entangled, you’re not trying to make anyone feel a certain way, you are just serving. You are holding the space for what is possible.
Even with my kids, she said, rather than try to make them happy, just be there to serve.
Serve myself first, she said. Take care of me. Even with regard to my kids, and certainly with my work.
No entanglement of emotion, she said. Every choice I make should be in alignment with my higher self.
I need to make every decision in order of divine right purpose – nothing more, not hing less.
I don’t need to make anyone happy.
As she said it, I wondered, is that true? I don’t have to make anyone happy?
I just have to serve to the best of my ability?
And what is this serve myself first business? How do I do that?
We are raised in a culture of do for others, get the approval of others, it matters what others think.
I know deep down that it doesn’t really. I know deep down that if you live for the approval of others, you’ll always be miserable because some will give it, some will give it except for a few details, some will withhold it just because they can.
The experience of the other is their experience entirely. They can choose to be happy or sad or bothered by whatever anyone else does and it’s just so silly.
When you say it like that, it you see how silly it is. Get upset because of something someone else did? Really?
Why bother? You have no control over what they do and it really has nothing to do with you.
She was asking me what I would want to hear if I were on the receiving end. She asked me to write out what I might say for her to review before I ever contemplated calling the client.
She asked me to get clear. Focus. Know what the truth is in completing the work with a particular client and that there was no shame in completing the work and moving on.
I wrote the conversation. She reviewed it. There was stuff that was driven by emotion and wanting approval and she said I could eliminate that stuff altogether.
Be very clear, she said. All you need to do is see the universal soul in that person and in yourself and you are all one, connected to the source of the universe. Once you realize that humanity, and you speak with that in mind, whatever you say will be fine.
Less is more. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation.
And it’s ok to be done.